Monday, August 23, 2004 so mani why why why in my head.....did i realli do my best 4 e recent maths spring test or not??? i practiced so much n i knew my facts inside out frm e front 2 e back....but wat happened again i asked myself??? is an A grade realli enuf 4 me not?? or do i wan sumting more.....yes...i tink i wan smthg more den an A grade....i expect a lot.....yes....sound a little psycho n too much but den if i put in tt amt of effort i expect e same amt of results as well....so can any1 tell me when isit enuf 2 excel in my academic subjects...esp maths....so wat if its a "good" remark.....i dun need tt.....wat i wan is "excellent"...not gd....i dun wanna jus b gd...i wanna excel....worst of all was tt i realli tink i dun deserve wat i got la......super sore about it....haiz....i tink im jus stress up la....tts y i took dis test results so seriously....shucks man....promos is less den 2 mths away.....n i havent been revising seriously.....running short of time....oh gosh....yucks....i hate e mounting pressure.....it seems so near yet so far again....tell myself cannot slack but i always do....tell myself i mus b more serious n start revision but i always dun....pist wif myself la....WTH.....wake up......i need 2 WAKE UP.....oh man....i do feel psychotic.....2 dream or not 2 dream....if i dare 2 dream big i'll tend 2 b veri competitive n nw i do feel tt competitiveness tts fast edging over......oh no....GOD......help.....cannot go back 2 my old self.....i dun wanna lose e essence of living a life n jus study but nuthin.......
& Monokuro Boo ;
8:48 PM
