Sunday, September 26, 2004 haiz......e mounting pressure....promos in 9 daes time...super stress up....still haf e whole SEA hist 2 handle....i havent even like started on it....damn sian.....i dunno y i studied econs yest until i had e urge 2 tear up e notes n throw dem aside......get veri frustrated n irritated......decided 2 go 2 bed at ard 2am...cldnt take it anymore....was out e whole of yesterdae wif deb,mic,sai,amc...walked frm PS 2 far east 4 e whole aftn....den at ard 5 plus went 2 queensway coz deb wanted 2 buy shoes.....in e end she also din buy anithing so all of us went 2 ikea 4 dinner.....gr8 dinner though....had a gr8 dae out....long time since we all went out together....every1 stressed out by exams.....n no doubt every1 felt so dead coz prelims results r cumin back soon....whoa hoh....shld i consider myself lucky or not!!?! confused n mixed emotions....felt realli guilty when i reached home....so wanted 2 study finish e whole mkt structure....however i 4gotten tt i luv slacking.....so i was like slackin 4 hrs b4 i got started....n when i got started i was slackin in btw too......so jus imagine how much time i actualli wasted...haiz....was so so so so disgusted tt i actualli wanted 2 gif up n go slp....den barney msged....sumting which kept my spirits high n going 4 a while.....a little luv goes a long wae....i complained n whined 4 awhile b4 i decided 2 heed barney's advice n go rest coz seriously my brain was not working.....but b4 i actualli went 2 bed i dunno y while lying on my pillow i suddenly felt a sudden surge of emotions......jus an overwhelmed feeling.....so caught up wif everything tt had been goin ard me.....tt all of a sudden i felt e need 2 cry it all out....i guess im jus veri stressed up....i started tearing continously......n silently of coz....jus tot 2 myself so mani things all at e same time......jus felt so 'wei qu'.....i dunno y....guess all dis things haf been hidden inside 4 so long tt i tink i cant take it anymore.....i prayed.....had a long converasation wif God.....stopped tearing.....got over it.....n prayed till i fell aslp.....set alarm 2 wake up at 9am 2 study but den decided 2 gif myself a break n so went back 2 slp again......woke up at 12pm.....felt so much betta n much more motivated after i woke up.......completed econs all e wae 2 prod n cost by 5pm.......left wif 2 more minor chapters....shld finish by dis weekends....i guess every1 jus need sum avenue 2 let go b4 we can actualli take a bigger step forward....so glad tt i actualli managaed 2 let my emotions go......haf been tryin 2 put up wif lotsa tings......puttin up a strong front isnt tt easy afterall....i cant wait 4 dis whole promos 2 b over....got so much plans after promos.....but 1st on my list wld b 2 prepare farewell gifts......(4 hu?? tts 4 me 2 noe n 4 u 2 find out!!) but im realli broke dis mth....will try my veri bez 2 cum out wif smthg nice yet nt 2 ex.....hmmm...i onli got e weekend straight after promos 2 settle e gifts....but im sure dere's enuff time....hmmm....aniwae guess its time 4 me 2 go back 2 my econs b4 i get 2 tired......till i blog again.....hmmmm.....wonder when will tt b....
& Monokuro Boo ;
12:20 AM
