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Friday, October 29, 2004

haiz....sian man...went 2 sch todae 2 get results...much as i prayed n hoped 2 b on honour roll...my hopes were dashed n rolled away...ok fine...2 sae im not envious wld b fake....im realli fed up....how can those pple make it n i dun....WTH lor...i noe pple out dere surely will tell me my results so gd liao....b contented n try harder next time....haiyo...its an expectation problem thingy...initially a bit sad n disappointed...but now im gettin sadder n more disappointed....cum 2 tink of it....i shld b dere up on honour roll lor...y e heck am i left out again....mid years wanted 2 b dere but din make it coz failed maths....now i got a B for maths...drastic improvement liao...still din make it.....wah kaoz.....sounds unforgivable....wat shit lor....i jus feel like screaming at myself....but im like so loss 4 words liao....isit coz i study not enuf...or wat e heck went wrong...or isit my improvements not enuf coz every1 is also improving wif me too.....haiz.....i noe tt self-improvement is most impt....as long as got improvement veri gd liao....but den whu dun wan 2 b on honour roll lor?!? i was so near yet so far again....e feelin sux veri badly! mayb i shld not b jus focusing on gettin into honour roll n 4get all about e other tings....BUT CANNOT....i cant bring myself 2 forget it.....everybody ard me r like askin..."hey...u got into honour roll or not?"....wah kaoz.....i wld luv 2 tell dem "yes of coz".....but no chance....feel like ive let u guys down again....haiz....foolish silly me....shld nt b feelin dis wae....but I CANT HELP IT! my parents were like so anxious 2 noe bout e honour roll outcome too....esp mommy....haiz.....sad 2 c her a little disappointed too.....though she still encouraged me n sae tt honour roll isnt wat tt matter most but tt i passed can alreadi....but i noe she mus b damn disappointed...i wanted 2 make daddy n her proud again....but ive nt done so leh....damn it......shitified feeling...yucks! my tutor came over 2 me 2 congratualate me n he said dis..."well i've nuthin much 2 sae but impressive work indeed..well done...congrats!"......even e principal also left a post-it on my results slip 2 congratualate me....but...haiz......sorrie 2 sae i've not impressed myself.....
im jus a sad gal todae...:(

& Monokuro Boo ;
5:07 PM