Tuesday, November 09, 2004 sumtimes i realli wonder wat e heck i wan in my life...its amazing 2 look at e wae i handle my flickered mind...or isit jus a woman ting...tt gals jus haf a problem wif being decisive..haiz...got e results of e S paper application todae in sch...im offered S paper in History next year...hmmm...wasnt realli so happie as i tot i wld be....jus accepted e fact like it was kinda expected...or isit e initial xcitement of doin S paper 4 hist died off...was my decision jus on impulse? do i realli wanna do a S paper....i realli dunno....im beginning 2 feel i jus applied 4 fun...now tt its confirmed n i feel weird....shucks....so irresponsible of me.....wat am i realli up 2....oh man...i dun understand myself well enuf isit huh? does any1 noe wat im doin? mayb onli God noes....haiz....im like tinkin of all e reasons of y i wanna do hist S paper....wat happens if i dun do well in my S paper....wun it reflect badly on my A levels cert....yucks...i dun wan tt 2 happen leh....but mayb i shld jus try n make e best out of it.......(c wat i mean...flicker-minded!!!)
im nt sure of im ready 4 e challenge of doin a S paper...isit coz of my recent academic performance tt made me complacent of my abilities.....or do pple call it self confidence in a more positive manner i shld sae....dunno leh.....jus in a state of dilemma.....wat e heck lor......i tink im tinkin a bit 2 much again....always also like tt....worryin 4 dis n tt....at e end of e dae onli God noes.....hmmmm......mayb i shld nt keep planning 4 wats alreadi planned out in my life by God....so sorrie 2 sae i still always doubt n wonder tings like ..."wat if dis happens....." or "wat if it dun happen e wae i wan".....mayb my faith is nt strong enuf....yar mayb....guess i mus learn how 2 trust God more hor....yar.....i tink i shld....
ok racheal lam......GO 4 IT....!!
hmmm....back 2 todae.....was supposed 2 b watchin a movie wif ivan n alvin...but i cancelled it last min yest nite coz barney sae she needed my pair of eyes 2 help her wif 3D trigo.....so ok lor...forgo movie...fren in need more impt la...so i went 2 sch at 11am todae....gaf barney her mrng call n 9am n i happily went back 2 slp again.....lazy bum...haha!! so tts y i onli reached sch at 11 lor....overslept obviously...wah.....damn slpy in sch....kept yawning wif libing.......did sum econs tys revision.....helped libing wif her maths......(barney din even make use of my eyes la!)....ate chicken rice 4 lunch n additional half a pack of fried hokkien mee...by sharing wif e food-obsessed barney due 2 stress.....ahahahh! basically was jus a dae of work n tokin usual crap...but i did enjoy a dae wif all in sch todae.....being wif u all is alreadi gd enuf 2 attract me 2 sch....hahha....4 those whu hu me will noe i get veri happie wif e smallest tings......barney calls dem 'cheap thrills' but den 2 me its gd enuf...i dun ask 4 more.....jus a little more time spent wif my fellow A6-ians is enuf le....heez! oh ya....miary dedicated song 2 us on perfect 10 dis aftn.....so lame lor....cheeky's name was pronounced as "MIKE" instead of "MIC".......so officially introducing my new classmate...."MIKE ONG" (private joke! hahah!)...but thanks miary.....so nice of u......hmmm...on e whole i concluded was a well spent dae in sch though i din do much...ahhaha!
