Tuesday, July 26, 2005 im overwhelmed by a sudden rush of emotions upon hearing a song on radio..."dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi sui"....y so......coz it simply brings back many many memories yea.....03A6 i miss all of ur presence in Nanyang.....i realli do.....esp during dis time of extreme stress n tight scheduled time-table.....i miss the times when we...as a class... had 2 run 2 e canteen 2 snatch for seats during break time...i miss e times when we used 2 bitch n gossip bout others in sch...i miss e times when we attended tutorials n lectures together...i miss e times when all of us feel so 'happie' even though we flung almost every class or common tests as a class...hahaha....i realli do miss all those times lots n lots.....n how i wish 4 all ur presence back at nanyang once again....though time spent wif u guys as a class was short but it certainly was e best time i've had in 19 years of my life.....in less den 100 days time.....it also marks the end of my term in Nanyang....i will certainly miss all the times.....gd or bad...i spent in Nanyang (its a school that rawks man!).....coz it was dis veri place tt i spent my happiest moments...as well as saddest times in.....i will miss Nanyang a lot....as much as i miss my classmates...both 03A6 n 04A5.....a BIG thank you 2 all tt haf in 1 way or another came into my life coz u haf certainly left a wonderful set of footprints wif me forever.....n of coz thank you Nanyang..... & Monokuro Boo ;
10:01 PM
Monday, July 25, 2005 hmmmm....hmmmm....HMMMMM....
so tired...so sick...so moody...kinda panicky...yet tryin so hard 2 act so indifferent....so wat am i exactly feelin 2dae...whu noes man?! probably its stress tt overcame me...or mayb lethargy or perhaps fatigue tts eating me up...sobz sobz...i wanna do so mani other tings like shppg...like holidaying...like playing mahjong...like gg 4 sun-tanning by e beach...like jus slackin ard n slpg till e sun shines on my butt!!! but how is tt possible when ive e BLOODY 'A's in 98 days time....i cannot go on like dis man.....proscrastinating n den 3/4 of my day usualli gone by den...havent started on tt dreaded part of history...i realli wanna get my straight distinctions....i noe i can do it...but if sum1 teach me how?!?! i guess i shld be e one askin 4 help perhaps....not pple askin me if i need help...now e problem is i also dunno wat i realli dunno...i tink i noe most of e stuff here n dere...jus nt veri sure n nt veri firm in my thoughts YET.....so mayb sum brushing up will do me gd......i tink i noe wat i realli need.....i need a serious BREAK frm sch.....probably 2-3 days......w/o any form of distractions....w/o any additional tutorials (esp econs)...i need 2 go recall n revise all my basics....i dunno how long i'll take but i noe im gg 2 get it done by hook or crook......
y so.......simple reason.....i wan 2 get my bump into NUS.....i wan it....n i wan it so badly tt IM GONNA GET IT! so my dear frens whu already in dere rite now.....my greatest desire is 2c all of u guys dere........ & Monokuro Boo ;
9:48 PM
Thursday, July 14, 2005 i dunno how 2 express how im feeling.....a lot of anger...lotsa resentment within me...i wanna find sumting/sum1 2 put e blame on.....SHUCKS...but i dunno whu or wat!! how on earth did i manage 2 flung GP....my gdness....i passed everything else but GP....dis brings me back 2 ground zero.....wats e point havin 3 A level passes....wats e damn point! my father is gg 2 screw me up for sure.....sigh..i did nt realli 'study' for GP la...*but whu e hell studies 4 GP rite*....but wat e shit happened 2 paper 2? its a D7.... im jus so disheartened....haiz......sux la....108 days 2 A levels....59 days 2 prelims....see wat can i do about it now......jus watch.... & Monokuro Boo ;
5:52 PM
Monday, July 11, 2005 ridiculous as it may seem....my father jus asked me 2 tink of an alternative route coz he tinks im nt gg 2 make it 2 e local uni....WTH.....i whipped up all my courage 2 tell my dad bout my close to atrocious mid year results n even though i emphasize e fact tt im among e top in class *so as 2 save myself a little*....he is totalli indifferent! MY GOSH! wat e heck lor....im so fed up la.....so wat if i get CDE....its onli e mid years wat.....probably i mite do even worst in prelims but im more den 90% sure tt im gg 2 do well in e A levels alrite....wif all e effort i put in n all e time i invest in my academic studies.....I NOE WAT IM DOIN!! coz i tried my best...i mite be disappointed wif myself over my results...esp my econs n maths.....but ive my dignity too...i noe its no doubt tt grades CDE are horrendous...but a word of encouragement wun kill rite......sighz.....forget it...sae so much also not much use....till e nxt exams cum n i'll haf another chance 2 excel so as 2 fill up e room for improvement tt ive been leaving empty so far..... & Monokuro Boo ;
7:27 PM
Thursday, July 07, 2005 sighz...im feelin so down now...i din realli do so well for e mids....n i realli tot i wun mind so much....but i guess 'ben xing nan yi'.....its jus so me tt im results-oriented....i dun wanna be like tt but i cant seem 2 get outta dis stoopid habit of mine....i cant help it but 2 feel veri veri sad coz i din meet my target once again....i wanted an A for maths but ended up gettin a C...i wanted a C for econs but ended up getting an E....i havent gotten back history....so does it mean tt i wanted an E for history den i'll get an F? my gosh....i cant bear 2 tink of an F.....it has been like decades since i last saw e grade F....i told myself i wun ever wanna see it again....I DUN WAN!!!crapz.....i had tt sudden overwhelming emotion jus now....so much so tt i tot i wld break down n cry....i've been tolerating e whole dae in sch....tryin 2 look n sound happie coz i did relatively well as compared 2 my classmates....but how do i hafta react when every1 else gets an F den yet im nt happie wif a C....i cant whine like e rest coz it wld make me seem like an ass! so i end up tryin 2 force myself 2 be happie...look happie n stay happie.....at least till e end of e dae...n now when im home i realli dun wanna behave tt wae....i wan so much 2 tell daddy i did nt do realli tt well...(aniwae dad alreadi predicted tt i wun do well.....n i wanted 2 prove him wrong....)...but everytime when he walk pass i cant open my mouth 2 sae anything...nuthin seem 2 cum out.....its like constipation but dis time is wif words! shucks.....meet e parents session is cumin soon.....haiz.....my parents wld be so disappointed....so am i....im definitely not ok now.....i guess i need 1-2 days 2 recover.....after tt i promise i'll put e past behind me n work towards e prelims n A levels....meanwhile im jus not rite..... & Monokuro Boo ;
10:02 PM
Monday, July 04, 2005 oh man...i had a veri blissful dream yest nite! hahaha...tink im a bit cranky but i woke up smiling frm my dreams..alrite roughly dis is how e dream goes...i was supposed 2b in sum veri impt event n i was apparently in sum nice gown n heels too! (now u c y i sae its a DREAM!)...n wats more impt was tt i had tt special sum1 by my side...e feeling was.....hmmmm......GREAT....i felt absolute bliss even in my dreams! hahaha! oh well...how 2 sae leh...i dun realli noe but jus gd ba! geez.... & Monokuro Boo ;
9:53 PM
