Saturday, June 23, 2007 a lot of things that never use to catch my attention now do...1 example...xiaoshi's hp ringtone...'because of you' by kelly clarkson...ive been listening to e full version of that song for a couple of days...how meaningful...hmmmm i would say that it brings a bittersweet feeling...walau im feeling damn sian again...haiz....sickening....so which is worst huh?1) still liking someone and not telling him about itor2) telling someone you still like him and then get rejectedbasket..im damn fed up with myself again...i noe e ans lo...but i jus cannot do it becoz 我过不了自己的那一关...3 options...50-50, call a fren or audience voting! so audience wat do u tink i shld do now? 50-50 i attempted...so tts why im left wif e options 1 & 2 as stated above...Call a fren i also tried before...dun say call..say face-face also tried liao....apparently also no diff...coz after all it still boils down to me...not my fren's problem...so audiences...if u noe wat im toking about....tell me wat i shld do now!a lot things that i tot of, am tinking of and will be tinking of dun really make sense...i also dunno why im jus so stubborn...before i decided to tell anyone about dis i already noe dis is gg to be a tough issue...i wasnt really sure of myself initially but den e feeling jus gets stronger! 1 of e reason im still refraining from verbalising wat i wanna say is becoz i figured dis time round 我真的输不起...walau...i dun haf e confidence anymore lo...e way im handling dis is jus unlike my usual self...dis is jus so not me... & Monokuro Boo ;
1:17 AM
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 my gosh...i dun understand why everywhere i go it seems to rain! When i was in HongKong for 6 days, it rained for 5 days...when i went to Bintan for 4 days with the intention to do sea sports den it rained for 3 days! oh gosh...its jus me being sway or wat! maybe coz i din pray hard for gd weather ya! haiya...wat a waste! who wld ever imagine tt someone wld go all e way to bintan jus to stay in the villa for 3 days doing nothing much but tok cock, slack, slp, eat and i keep bathing so many times a day coz i really had nothing better to do!i kinda thank God my internship ended..not with a bang but if it dragged some more i will really go bang myself! freelancing with the company is nt a bad idea but den i tink i love my freedom too much to even compromise on tt...however i believe that one shld nv bite the hand that fed you...so much for wanting to leave...i still decided to go back n finish up wat i was asked to stay back to help out...after that im leaving for gd...corporate life...not my cup of tea for now...and seriously i tink when it comes to decision-making...i need to get myself in control...i always wonder how others can be so fickle-minded about things but actually when i come to think about it...im no better...in fact i realised that im extremely indecisive these days..why? no idea..coz e decisions that i haf to face are getting more complicated or is it jus me screwing up my own life? part of growing up...that seems to be what everyone says....maybe 5 yrs down e road when i look back...i will probably slap myself silly...move on with life man! that is probably the best consolation i can offer myself right now...who ask me to be such an ass...indecisiveness..jus kill me man! sigh.. & Monokuro Boo ;
12:20 AM
Tuesday, June 12, 2007 wah boy! i have neglected my bloggie! well well..im back from HK obviously...HongKong..Live it Love it man! just some random tots....internship is ending for me tml...my last day (finally!)...well its nt exactly tt bad...in fact i'll miss it i tink...jus tt now im really sick n tired of dis life...going into office everyday to find things to do...its nt really tt enjoyable to wait for time to pass every single day...on a happier note...i feel so blessed recently...(ya i mean i noe ive been leading a really blessed life..THANK GOD!)...God's presence nv felt so real in my life and even tho im really spending more den half my life in church...i enjoy these 4 days more den e other 3 days tt im nt down in church serving God! haha....absurd to you but amazing to me yea! Thank God for e support frm my fellow youth leaders and pastors....there were times that i almost tot i cldnt make it anymore but den prayers does wonders i realised! and of coz frens' support in church make a lot of difference u noe! so thank God esp for xiaoshi...who was sent so timely to be a friend and sister! (God's timing is always perfect as far as i noe!)...haha...ive always wanted God to send someone older whom i can look upon to and seek advice n help from...coz being e eldest among all my cousins jus meant tt i was always taken as an example for e younger ones to follow...so xiaoshi i figured that you are the 'God-sent' example! "BE A GOOD EXAMPLE" wahahaha...Life is good...i like it e way it is now...and well perhaps jus leaving everything into God's hands will solve e problem....so jiayou to myself...Cheers! & Monokuro Boo ;
12:07 AM
