Monday, July 30, 2007 some food for thought......天上一万颗星星我却只看见你 你说这是幸运 还是不可思议...
...身边有太多风景 我却停在这里 说我傻的可以 还不是因为你...what do you think? just another fairytale-like myth...do you sometimes wish that you have never met that someone...perhaps that will save you a lot of hassles n heartaches...but of coz that would also mean that you will never get to experience the little heart-warming feeling that fond memories can bring...whatever it is...there is always two sides to everything... & Monokuro Boo ;
9:30 PM
Friday, July 27, 2007 'Paper ankles'..interesting term tt was coined by my dear cousin Ivan! of coz they are none other than e infamous pair of ankles of mine....by e name of it u could haf easily guessed that i sprained my ankle once again! the story is a long one...so i dun bother explaining again...haha...but aniway dis is e infinite time that i injured my ankle(s)...getting so used to it that e pain is also kinda familiar...i even noe when i will feel e pain depending on how i walk, stand or sit....this comes with experience..lotsa them i mean! but going to union camp with a sprained ankle is really joke considering e amount of walking i do everyday...gosh...i really think im gg to become paralysed of i didnt break camp to visit the sinseh yest...but well no worries peeps! i shld recover soon I HOPE! coz i really haf lotsa things to do n i like to always be on e move...with a burden such as a sprained ankle will only serve to hinder my movement n nt help in any way! so pray for my speedy recovery! jiayou to me...oh btw i jus haf another random tot...i wanna be an air-stewardess! haha...considering e high pay n luxurious lifestyle...i figured it cld be quite fun...but that means some serious business on my part...i freaking need to lose weight....a gd 20 kg off b4 i can become slim n tall! of coz im already tall enuf but im nt slim at all! so shld i gif it a try...i definitely can do it if i wan to but....i have so many BUTs...shall tink about it...but i seriously dun mind! haha! & Monokuro Boo ;
12:05 AM
Thursday, July 19, 2007 i came across smthg which really touched my heart...it goes like this..."God knows what is in your heart..He knows what problems you are facing..He will always give you peace of mind and you will walk and be covered in His light..and He will fulfil your desire in His time.."i was like 'wah God you always speak to me in such cute manners...esp when im shopping!'..haha..well those words spoke to me in a very special manner..i jus feel so close to God...practically into his embrace whenever i read those words...aniwae...putting tt aside...i jus wanna say 'Be strong Barney! rachoo 为你打气加油'...doubt you will have the time to read all this but nevertheless rachoo is very proud of barney for staying so positive and strong all these time..jiayou and luv you lots too! :> & Monokuro Boo ;
1:03 AM
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 wohoo...Genting trip was therapeutic indeed! lotsa lotsa shopping and eating really kept me quite entertained for e 3 days there...casino was not really my cup of tea though...did a 10 mins walk inside and i cldnt wait to get out coz i was like suffocating inside! ok i did some reflections on e 6 hrs journey to Genting and also 6 hrs back to S'pore...i tink im beginning to be able to face some issues now...my stubborn-ness really has gotta do wif my fear of rejections and pride! but putting tt 2 aside...i noe tt 勉强是没有幸福的...yes many of you out there must be tinking...'well if you dun try, you dun really noe'...but who knows him better than i do when it comes to this issue rite? okie maybe tt sounded a bit too ego on my part but seriously e vibe tt im getting isnt rite anymore...perhaps living with tt 遗憾 for the rest of my life is e next best alternative...its not tt i dunno wat to do...i jus dun wanna do it...save tt little 尊严 btw us ba...but if one day ever again tt our path do cross...i'll do whatever i can to give it a shot! for now...say cheers to singlehood! & Monokuro Boo ;
12:25 AM
Sunday, July 08, 2007 i gave myself 2 weeks...or rather i shld say i gaf us 2 weeks..which started on e 27/6...by right it shld all come to an end on the 11/7...however i figured it was too much to keep on going like this....it looks like it is really going no where...today during 430 svc worship...i really felt God's presence and his words spoken so clearly to me...'seek first the kingdom of God and everything else you need in your life shall be fulfilled'...yes i noe wat i shld be doing but im jus so reluctant to submit to God's instructions...den again during sermon time....ps sophia mentioned 'it is often pride that makes you feel so 不甘愿 about some things..'...i guess it must be pride that makes me so reluctant to let go...as i have always said....i so often clutch the past so tightly to my chest that i leave my arms too full to embrace the present! as i come before God today to tell Him how much agony and frustration i have been keeping inside my heart, tears unconsciously jus flowed...at that moment i felt so bitter...but i could really feel the wide arms of God embracing me as i knelt down before Him to seek shelter and comfort! There is really none like you God! Thank you for always listening to my complains and whines...even though i am so faithless at times...you still remain the ever-faithful God! i know what i shld do now...seek your kingdom first...and i am sure you will provide the rest of my needs! there is really nothing i can do by using my own strength and i jus commit every issue of my life into your hands..i am sure you are working things out in your own time and it will be the best time for all...to all my frens out there who is reading this..if u see me along the way...jus gimme some encouragement to stay strong in faith and focus on God...and thanks a lot but there is no need to introduce any of your guy frens to me...hahaha...im currently NOT interested in other guys (not even if he fits all my basic criteria) because i have someone in mind already..unless God tells me he is not the one...i won't give up as yet...so jus in case you are wondering why everytime pple ask me 'why you dun have any chemistry wif guys that you spend so much time tgt with?'...dun worrie im 100% straight...e ans is very simple...because there is simply no place inside my heart for them! stubborn or whatever you may call me...im still sticking by my decision...the wait doesnt end here...in fact it jus started... & Monokuro Boo ;
1:11 AM
Wednesday, July 04, 2007 i know i must super ridiculous to hang on indefinitely just like that...when its time to move on...its time...i figured there is really no point to wait aimlessly...but racheal is a very stubborn gal...when she doesnt get her answer..she will never really move on...perhaps 1 day when i come to realise that i dun really know wat im waiting for...den i guess i will never want to fall for someone again..a note to my heavenly father...dear God..what on earth is going on? i am so clueless that i become more helpless...i noe nothing is impossible wif you...but why is it that everytime i ask of you to help me with this issue...i dun seem to get a response? is this a test of my patience? or jus a way to prepare me...to show that whatever i ask for is really nt easy to handle? i refuse to believe that you will abandon me to leave me to settle this for myself...but i tink i cannot let go and let u alone handle it for me...so foolish of me...but i dunno wat else i can do...or rather i shld say wat else i shld nt do...God please dun joke with me anymore...the feeling of disappointment is really not funny...pls help me ti BE STILL and know that You are God! I am giving thanks to you even though i dun get wat i prayed for...because i choose to believe that You have the best plans for me! AMEN! *this is such a challenge!* & Monokuro Boo ;
1:18 AM
