Sunday, July 08, 2007 i gave myself 2 weeks...or rather i shld say i gaf us 2 weeks..which started on e 27/6...by right it shld all come to an end on the 11/7...however i figured it was too much to keep on going like this....it looks like it is really going no where...today during 430 svc worship...i really felt God's presence and his words spoken so clearly to me...'seek first the kingdom of God and everything else you need in your life shall be fulfilled'...yes i noe wat i shld be doing but im jus so reluctant to submit to God's instructions...den again during sermon time....ps sophia mentioned 'it is often pride that makes you feel so 不甘愿 about some things..'...i guess it must be pride that makes me so reluctant to let go...as i have always said....i so often clutch the past so tightly to my chest that i leave my arms too full to embrace the present! as i come before God today to tell Him how much agony and frustration i have been keeping inside my heart, tears unconsciously jus flowed...at that moment i felt so bitter...but i could really feel the wide arms of God embracing me as i knelt down before Him to seek shelter and comfort! There is really none like you God! Thank you for always listening to my complains and whines...even though i am so faithless at times...you still remain the ever-faithful God! i know what i shld do now...seek your kingdom first...and i am sure you will provide the rest of my needs! there is really nothing i can do by using my own strength and i jus commit every issue of my life into your hands..i am sure you are working things out in your own time and it will be the best time for all...to all my frens out there who is reading this..if u see me along the way...jus gimme some encouragement to stay strong in faith and focus on God...and thanks a lot but there is no need to introduce any of your guy frens to me...hahaha...im currently NOT interested in other guys (not even if he fits all my basic criteria) because i have someone in mind already..unless God tells me he is not the one...i won't give up as yet...so jus in case you are wondering why everytime pple ask me 'why you dun have any chemistry wif guys that you spend so much time tgt with?'...dun worrie im 100% straight...e ans is very simple...because there is simply no place inside my heart for them! stubborn or whatever you may call me...im still sticking by my decision...the wait doesnt end here...in fact it jus started... & Monokuro Boo ;
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